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Fairy Tale Balloon Poll: Round One

(I so was not kidding before. And I thank you for your input! Some people were disqualified for not being from fairy tales, or for me not knowing enough about them, or silly stuff like that. You should play anyway though. It'll be fun.)

kerrypolka: [note: all science in this is shit. because it is a balloon poll, and therefore about the most important questions of human survival, like, "who would you push out first, the loyal sidekick or the dashing antagonist?" SO THE WAY YOU PLAY IS: you vote for whoever you would throw out of the balloon, not who you want to stay in. Every few days, whoever has the most votes gets pitched over the edge and a new poll is put up with the remaining cast. JUST LIKE IN REAL LIFE!]

At the Aerospace Museum in Fairyland, curious business is afoot.

"This is gorgeous," says Cinderella, placing one light hand on the wicker basket to step herself aboard. "I've never seen a real hot-air balloon before."

"You haven't seen much of anything," her stepmother remarks; next to the woman, Rumpelstiltskin stifles a snort.

"Look at that marvelous detail work," Cinderella continues loudly, running her fingertips over the interior design of the balloon.

"Women," says the Frog Prince bitterly. "So obsessed with aesthetics. 'Oh, has he got the right shoes?' 'Oh, is this a Calvin Klein?' 'Oh, was he cute or were his teeth all weird?' Superficial bints, the lot of you."

"All it takes is a bit of effort," Prince Charming points out. "I could show you how to use my hair gel. It's really quite —"

"One more word and I'll set your precious hair on fire," the Frog Prince retorts.

"Uh, guys?" says the Beast, putting out one timid and well-experienced hand in attempt to halt the conflict. It's not easy to turn a blind eye to his hairy bulk, but somehow the two princes manage.

"You'll set my hair on fire, huh, slime guy?" sneers Charming. "How?"

"PROPANE!" Baba Yaga cackles, gleefully, and lights the burners. The balloon shakes, drifts; the ropes sway and slip out of their holdings; and before anybody has time to take action the entire company finds itself floating into the open sky. Little Red Riding Hood screams; Hansel and Gretel clutch each other; the Beast looks uncomfortable. Scheherezade eyes them all with a hefty dose of disdainful curiosity.

"Well, this is unpleasantly crowded," says the Princess of the Pea, and wrinkles her peerless nose.

"Sweetie, you ain't kiddin'," Rumpelstiltskin tells her. "Check the altimeter."

They all whirl to face the small device, most of which is currently covered by one snoring Sleeping Beauty. Cinderella gently lifts the dozing princess's arm, and the company gasps. They have reached 6,000 feet, but are not holding steady — in fact, they are falling fast.

Poll #1369914 Fairy Tale Balloon Poll, Round I
This poll is closed.

"So one of you is getting off, and now," Cinderella's stepmother announces. "I vote the ugly one."

Rumpelstiltskin
3(13.0%)
Sleeping Beauty
0(0.0%)
Hansel
1(4.3%)
Gretel
0(0.0%)
Cinderella
1(4.3%)
Cinderella's stepmother
11(47.8%)
Prince Charming
2(8.7%)
Baba Yaga
3(13.0%)
the Beast
0(0.0%)
Little Red Riding Hood
0(0.0%)
the Frog Prince
0(0.0%)
Scheherezade
1(4.3%)
the Princess of the Pea
1(4.3%)


(Yes, dudes. IT IS TOTALLY UP TO YOU! Voting closes in 24 hours.)

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
sassydelinquent
Mar. 22nd, 2009 06:26 pm (UTC)
Ten points for use of the word 'bints'.
<3
ninamazing
Mar. 22nd, 2009 07:56 pm (UTC)
WHY THANK YOU! ♥ I am so glad you approve.
jadariver18
Mar. 22nd, 2009 06:33 pm (UTC)
I have always hated Cinderella's stepmother. Maybe that's the thing that influenced my vote the most. Cinderella's stepmother. What a bitch.
ninamazing
Mar. 22nd, 2009 07:57 pm (UTC)
Cinderella's stepmother. What a bitch.

AHAHAHAHAHA SO TRUE.

Yeah, there seems to be a pretty clear consensus on this one.
intrikate88
Mar. 22nd, 2009 07:18 pm (UTC)
"who would you push out first, the loyal sidekick or the dashing antagonist?"

Loyal sidekick, duh. They need their own lives and trust me, dashing antagonists are difficult to find. You have to keep them when they show up.

Also I think Cinderella's stepmother would shout for Baba Yaga to be pushed out, Baba Yaga would grin nastily at her and suggest they fight it out, and that's why I voted Prince Charming goes, cause either they would knock him off accidentally or both decide they wanted him gone.
ninamazing
Mar. 22nd, 2009 07:58 pm (UTC)
SO. TRUE.

Ahaha, and I was totally thinking that by "the ugly one" Cinderella's stepmother meant the Beast! But you're right, she is already antagonizing Baba Yaga like the wind. Which does not scare Baba Yaga in the slightest.

And yet I'd kind of like to keep Prince Charming around. You know, for the lolz.

THE VOTERS SHALL DECIDE. :P
noblealice
Mar. 23rd, 2009 01:04 am (UTC)
I wanted Hansel out because he wears those lederhosen shorts. FASHION FAUX PAS, MISTER!

Anyways, I love you for doing this and I can't wait for it to continue!
ninamazing
Mar. 23rd, 2009 06:00 am (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHA. So true. Now I think I might just cut him because I can't stand that mental image. *_*

I love YOU for participating in this! I am so glad to be joined in my insanity! ♥

Also, lovely icon. My sister (who is looking over my shoulder) says so too. :P
kurukami
Mar. 23rd, 2009 04:03 am (UTC)
Prince Charming must die for being an obnoxious ponce. *grin*
kurukami
Mar. 23rd, 2009 04:04 am (UTC)
Also, he probably weighs the most of any of them, so tossing him means the balloon stops sinking faster. ; )
ninamazing
Mar. 23rd, 2009 06:02 am (UTC)
I don't know, I see Baba Yaga as a big lady. Because to me bigness is POWER. Like with Aretha Franklin, who is badass. Oh, and dude, what about the Beast?

But yes, I see your point. And if we add on hair gel weight this whole thing might be moot.
kurukami
Mar. 23rd, 2009 11:14 am (UTC)
Hmmmm, yes, good point about the Beast. Although I was thinking of Baba Yaga as this solid muscle-y yet short babushka type, not a withered crone but still not huge, you know?

Aretha Franklin is only 5'5", after all. *grin*

But! The hair gel is, as the Frog Prince may have noted, flammable. So first they shave Charming's hair off for possible future use in helping generate hot air -- Charming should be used to generating hot air, after all -- and only THEN toss his whiny self over the edge. *grin*

Besides which, Baba Yaga is like the brilliant mad sorceress of the group. You can't toss her off. Anyone who responds "PROPANE!" with a cackle to the question of how to light Charming's hair on fire clearly has some sort of understanding of how to keep the balloon up, too. *evil grin*
ninamazing
Mar. 23rd, 2009 06:01 am (UTC)
Well, obv. BUT OBNOXIOUS PONCES ARE FUN TO WRITE. :D
kurukami
Mar. 23rd, 2009 11:08 am (UTC)
True. And sometimes they actually have their purposes for being there -- see Gaius Baltar on the new BSG, who as it turned out DID have a plot-arc reason for being a self-interested cowardly arrogant ponce, if only because it meant no-one threw him out an airlock before he finished with, well, whatever the plan was. *grin*
liveonthesun
Mar. 23rd, 2009 05:27 am (UTC)
OMG THIS IS SO AMAZING.
ninamazing
Mar. 23rd, 2009 06:03 am (UTC)
And JUST when I was all, "omg, Becca commented, I hope she doesn't think this is totally stupid ..."

♥ ♥ ♥!
liveonthesun
Mar. 23rd, 2009 06:04 am (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHA, WHAAAAAAT? Why would this be stupid? ILU. COME BACK TO ARKANSAS.

♥♥♥
jazzfic
Mar. 23rd, 2009 06:52 am (UTC)
Hehe. I can see this is going to be a bumpy ride! :D
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

DON'T PANIC

We celebrate peace. Yet we pay no attention to the ways of curing aggression in human beings. And when one sees in psychoanalysis hostility disappearing as people conquer their fears, one wonders if the cure is not there.
The Diary of Anaïs Nin; August, 1945

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